Howdoooo Piggyfolks!

I've been spending a quiet day in the office other than for a short break which I'll tell you about in a minute. My peace and serenity has been rudely disrupted by Mom, as usual. She just got all the words to a song called "Amazing Race" (must be about pigs) and she is singing it over and over and over and aaaaAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! Now, I'm not one to whine about a little screech or full-bodied scream, but when she tries to hit those high notes and falls off the edge it makes my hair stand on end and my teeth ache! I invited her to clam up by chomping firmly on the edge of her slipper and giving it a terrific yank, but she just drowned a low note and kept right on with the torture. I tried burrowing under my covers (you know the ones she cut into 4 inch squares), but she has the heat cranked up to eleventeen thousand degrees in here and I was suffocating! Talk about roast pork! (yuk)

This afternoon I followed a Werther's original wrapped candy out to the parking lot (Mom had a whole bag of them) and next thing you know, I found myself at the top of the ramp and *almost* went into the motorhome without thinking. Silly Mom! If she thinks I'm going into that motorhome without a struggle, she's got a surprise coming. It's a good thing I woke up from my Werthers-induced trance before I hit the deck, or Mom would have slammed the door and the jig would be up! Thank the Great Hog in Heaven that my guardianpigangel, Snortimer, was watching over me at the time.

There isn't much else new here. Dad made a mess of the backyard by getting the motorhome stuck in the lawn so he had to drag in lots of rocks to fill the holes back up. Then he piled on the dirt. Hasn't stopped raining since, except for the few minutes when Mom tried to trick me into the motorhome. Mom took one step on that area and almost lost her gumboot. The mud went up and over her ankle. hee hee You shoulda heard all the colourful names she called Dad. hee hee hee, snoffle, chortle, gurgle.....

Well, chubs and chubbettes, must go beg some popcorn off Mom. I hardly ever get to play with the computer since Dad's got on line. Either one or the other of them is clack, clack, clacking all the time now.

Wishing you diet candies and hunks of lettuce ...NOT! how about mountains of corn and peas and french fries and and and.....

love, Binki

Binki Diefenbacon, born July 15, 1996, is a registered Vietnamese pot bellied pig and a delightful and intelligent house pet. She hangs her harness in Maple Ridge on the West Coast of Canada and shares the office with her human family Margaret and Bob Timms, that silly poodle Dax and a canary named R2D2. Binki enjoys writing stories about her life when she can sneak a few moments at the computer alone.

©1999 Margaret Timms